TV is a horrible drug… worse than crack… In a cold turkey break, twelve years ago I got rid of my TV. After many offers and many temptations, two years later my dad coaxed me into taking his 3-inch B&W version, which I would occassionally watch in bed, with it sitting on my chest. This seemed harmless enough, but more enticements were to follow. Friends upgrading their TV’s, or wanting to get rid of one taking up space… No, no, no!! I finally caved two years later when my brother Rob told me he had a 24-inch color TV he was just going to throw away if I didn’t take it. What a waste, I thought, and so I nervously set it up at home, only to become an addict again.

Three years ago, I moved in with Pam, who didn’t watch TV. I was just fine with that, and have been happily TV free since then. But here I am, sitting in the waiting room at St Joseph’s hospital in Ann Arbor, MI (my friend Mary Ellen had to make an emergency visit… she’ll be fine). There’s a big TV blasting one of the all-time lamest shows: Wheel of Fortune.  I have my laptop, hoping to get stuff done, but this horrible show keeps drawing me in like a crackhead.  

I’d like to buy a vowel… Is there a vowel? is there a vowel?? there are THREE vowels… yay!! (to wild cheering and applause)

Somebody, please help me… 

This is my brain after watching too many TV commercials (shot in San Francisco, 2007)

I had to add this… I dozed off in the waiting room and had this dream:

A contestant in a TV game show is trying to squeeze his head through a wall of bubble wrap, while the names of other contestants roll down. As each name passes, he shouts variations of, “Screw him, I’ll beat him!!” There is wild cheering and applause.